Guilty By Reason of Vanity

Since my summer holiday in Scotland and England, my bathroom scale has taken up either a nasty habit of lying about my weight or a charming tendency of flattering my healthy living. Let’s go with the latter.

As mentioned in earlier blogs, that wonderful contraption says that my weight is down ten pounds. My first guess of what helped the negative slide was all the walking done around castles and abbeys and scotch distilleries. The fact that the numbers aren’t increasing was puzzling since the amount of walking was cut drastically by having ready access to a car with a left-hand steering wheel.

What could be helping with the weight maintenance?

Does it have anything to do with my vanity and my search of ways to look younger?

Was it that train ride from Glasgow to London and the stack of women’s magazines to keep me occupied?

Huh?

Let’s play connect the dots.

An article in one of the many magazines that my teenage daughters and I passed amongst us on the train to London was about how to look younger. Don’t ask me which magazine. The stack was large and it was a long train ride. The article listed the obvious ways: drink plenty of water, get plenty of sleep, use plenty of sunscreen, and so forth. The other plenty really surprised me.

Get plenty of sex. Like three times a week plenty. Some British health group found that women who have sex at least three times a week look four to seven years younger than those who have sex less often. The report also said that women who get their jollies by themselves look seven to 12 years younger. There’s a good argument for doing without men, but that’s another blog topic.

As unromantic as it sounds, sex is now on our calendar. Which embarrassed the kids when they found out what “Date” meant scribbled throughout the calendar. But, hey, it’s good exercise too. Thirty minutes can expend 85 calories. That may not seem like a lot. But when I’m on a quest to look younger, it really adds up.

That helps my bathroom scale keep flattering me with ever decreasing numbers.

[I take no responsibility for this blog being used against your spouse as an argument for more sex.]