30.6.11

The Wait

Is this how it begins?  The end? 

The voice on the answering machine informs me that the results of my biopsy are in.  Yet the doctor's office will be closed for the four-day weekend beginning in the morning.  She says to call at my earliest convenience for the results.  Four days from now.

If it were benign, she would have said so on the answering machine.  I don't say anything.  He doesn't say anything.  Then he speaks,

"I'm sure it's nothing."

Does he really believe that or is that the only thing he could think to say?

He asks if I want a beer or wine.  I don't drink anymore.  I ask for white wine. 

Suddenly the weekend plans to drive to the mountains to look at property seem meaningless.  My dream retirement home vanishes before me.

I feel scared and hollow at the same time.  Is this the beginning of the end?

9 comments:

  1. I hope your results come back favorably. I would call and leave the following message with my doctor.

    "I received a call from your office that my biopsy test has come back and that I need to call at my earliest convenience for the results. This message has been delivered to me just as your office has closed for four days. As a result I will stew about it over the weekend and if I should find out that my results indicate a real problem and should time be of any essence in my treatment, I will make it my mission to sue you into oblivion and to grieve you to every medical association that I can find. So you have a nice weekend as well."

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  2. Positive thoughts from NYC coming your way...enjoy your weekend, and BREATHE.

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  3. The person who left that message deserves to be canned at the very least or, more appropriately, flogged in public. If they're going to be closed for 4 days why not wait until they re-open to call.

    I'm an ex-USAF Pararescueman. We were the most highly trained enlisted medical personnel in any branch of the service, even trained to do some surgical procedures in the field, under combat conditions. One thing that was stressed over and over was to always present an optimistic attitude to the patient no matter how severe the injury because a patient's mental state is almost as important as our medical skills.

    God be with you!

    BTW: I am available to deliver that flogging if you'd like.

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  4. No, she would NOT have said it was benign on the machine. You are not allowed to leave results on a machine. Anyone could hear them... Actually, the fact that they just left a message as they closed is the best indication that it's benign.. The doc usually calls with bad news..
    hugs,
    Jean

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  5. Hang in there Kiddo! Hoping for the best for you.

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  6. This lack of consideration is unacceptable. Hopefully the results are anticlimactic.
    Gaelic, I'm sorry you're going through this.
    Hope goes last.

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  7. I think it's horrible that they called like that and left you to hang all weekend, and you should assertivly mention it, I agree with Jean. If it was serious the DR would have called or they may have tried harder to reach you - at work or by cell. Although, I'm not opposed to flogging if Chip is really available! ;)

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  8. Grrr. That is insanity.

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  9. @Laoch, As my attorney, I might have you leave that message for me. :)
    @King, Know any good yogis to help with my breathing?
    @Chip, Yes! I'll take you up on the flogging. Then have Laoch defend you against any legal charges.
    @Jean, As my private nurse, I'm hoping you're right on that.
    @Dave, Thanks for the warm thoughts.
    @Antares, Anticlimactic would be good.
    @Tracie, Thanks for the kind words.
    @dbs, I concur.
    @All, I'll post again after I talk to the doctor (or a nurse) on Tuesday. Thanks everyone!

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