Caught on Kitty-Cam

Stupid bird.

She nested on the outside transom above our front door. You can see her plainly through the fanlight as you come downstairs. To get a really good look at her, you need to stand on tippy-toe on the bottom stair. It's a good nest, dry, out of the weather, not in a tree where it could be bothered by squirrels or other forms of local fauna. But she's stupid to build it there.

Every time anyone opens the door she flies away, dive bombing you on her way to the front fence where she sits and scolds you and tries to divert your attention from her nest. Like you're not going to notice a nest above the front door. Everyone notices the nest. The kids next door, the mailman who hates the bird but loves our big dog, everyone. Even our cats. Who are indoor cats. Never-go-outside cats. Ever.

They can see her through the fanlight from the stairs. One cat is intent on getting the bird for himself. He just has to figure out how. He has taken to jumping up on the newel post at the bottom of the stairs and standing up on his haunches to see the bird. He'll meow constantly wanting to get to the bird.

Yesterday I was in the living room doing housework when the cat was coming down the stairs. He stopped halfway to look at the bird. I know what must have been running through his head.

"If I jump up on the handrail, I can be even higher."

Stupid cat.

He jumps up on the rail and immediately his legs land on either side of the rail, straddling it with his chest and belly, his chin landing on the rail itself. With only fur touching the polished wood, his little body slides down towards the curved newel. BAM! His chin rams into the curve of the wood. Unfazed, he hops up on his hind legs and stretches his long, lean body to eye the bird and starts mrowing again. Mrow, mrow, mrow.

In fact he just reprised the entire scene for my benefit this morning. Unfortunately, I'm the only one who's seen this spectacle. If only I had a kitty-cam so I could post it on America's Stupid Pet Tricks.


  1. I just imagined this happening, and I am laughing so hard. I needed that laugh today. Thank you!!

    Cats are hilarious, especially when they do something silly like that, and then pretend nothing happened.

  2. Omgoodness~ that is so hysterical! I can just picture the whole event, including the nonchalant stroll away, clearing indicating he meant to do that :-D

  3. At least he's dusting the handrail for ya...