What I'm about to say will piss off any number of people. But this is my rant. If you don't like it, too bad. 'Cause it's the way I feel.
I am no longer a full-time mother. And I hate hate hate that. My new job demands over 50 hours a week. Including the 2 1/2 that I put in today. Today! A Sunday! The Sabbath! So much for keeping all Ten of the Commandments.
My paid job is a full-time office position. The entire family eats breakfast together before Mr. Gaelic and I carpool to our respective offices and Deirdre drives Maeve and herself to school. We eat supper together every possible night. Mostly five of seven, since Deirdre and Maeve both babysit and Deirdre has a boyfriend.
But there is no way that I can in good conscience call myself a full-time mother. Other women, upon hearing me call myself that in the past, would say that they work as a whatever at such-and-such a place. Then they'd tack on that they were full-time mothers as well. Hell no you're not!
Can you be a full-time surgeon and a full-time high school principal at the same time? No. Then what makes you think you can be a full-time whatever and a full-time mother at the same time? You can't. Because you're not there for your kids full time. When they need you. When they come home from school upset and claim that nothing is bothering them, until three hours later when they've finally decided to tell you what's wrong.
I miss my kids terribly. I was an awesome full-time mother. It was my calling in life. We chose for me to stay home with them and our finances suffered for the first few years after the transition. Only in the last three years had we fully recovered financially from going down to one bread-winning salary.
Mr. Gaelic has heard this rant before. He understands that he's not a full-time father. He understands that no parent who works at any job other than parenting can claim to be a full-time parent. That goes for parents who work from home, too. How does Junior feel when you say to him, "Mommy can't play with you right now because I've got to take this call and finish this report"?
I was fortunate to be able to be a full-time mother for 14 years. I experienced my youngest's infancy and my eldest's graduation. I also realize that taking a paying job is something I do for my children. I am providing Finola with the opportunity to attend the best possible college for her. I will continue in the paid workforce if Deirdre and Maeve want to attend prestigious private universities as well. What I do I do for them.
I just wish there were some way to provide the best for them while providing the best for me and Mr. Gaelic. We miss our former lifestyle of a home-cooked supper on the table at 6:30 every night, no lines at the grocery store or dry cleaner, and being able to do absolutely nothing on Saturdays and Sundays.
I want to be a full-time mom again.
He is My Strength
2 days ago