May I Have Some Cheese with My Whine?

One little glimmer of hope. With all the rejection letters that keep flooding my inbox (Did I mention that one day two weeks ago there were four? In one day!), there was one that wasn’t quite a rejection. It stated that my application was being reviewed and a list of candidates to be invited for interviews would be forthcoming.

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles. It wasn’t a rejection!

Because of the type jobs I’m applying for, the application process is an online ordeal that averages four hours per application. There was one 24-hour period that produced five submitted applications. After that my average has been only one a day. Mind numbing is one way to look at it.

Rejection can be difficult for even the most chipper of people. After so much hard work, receiving that many rejections at a time really gets a person down.

It’s that blue funk that makes me want to complain to my closest friends. But even my closest friends need a break from my whining. The willpower not to dump on them so much has kept me from signing onto chats recently, or picking up the phone and scheduling a coffee date, or just dropping by to say hello.

They support me and care about me but I don’t want to always be the taker. They have their own problems with jobs, office politics, children, significant others, extended families. I want to be there for them to open up to and dump their junk on.

My heart may be willing but my mind is wandering. You know, that fuzzy focus that comes with the blues, the reds, and the pinks. Anything deeper than an elevator speech and my mind can’t follow past the first floor.

Hopefully my hiatus won’t permanently damage our relationships. Maybe I should copy-and-paste this into an email and send it their way. It may help explain why I never call, I never write. But it doesn’t excuse it.